


Ripple Effect

by Jean_Prinxe



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Asexual Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, F/F, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, He/Him Pronouns For Nonbinary Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, I'm just rubbing my gay hands over everyone, M/M, No beta we kayak like Tim, Nonbinary Gerard Keay, Nonbinary Sasha James, Trans Melanie King, Trans Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), also if you think I know where I'm going to end up you're wrong, not that I really need to but
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:08:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 15,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26524978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jean_Prinxe/pseuds/Jean_Prinxe
Summary: Instead of looking at the table, Sasha has a panic attack and curls up in the corner. Everyone is better off in the long run.
Relationships: Basira Hussain & Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Georgie Barker/Melanie King, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Sasha James & Tim Stoker
Comments: 166
Kudos: 262





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Jonny Sims: The Magnus Archives is a tragedy. It will be sad and unfair and people you care about will die and not deserve it.  
> me, who has grown attached: *fingers hover over keys* not if I have anything to say about it  
> beware! the prologue is objectively short  
> also, I exist in a language space that's vaguely American English, so please feel free to correct me when it shows

[CLICK]

ARCHIVIST

Statement of Sasha James, archival assistant at the Magnus Institute, regarding the invasion by the entity formerly known as Jane Prentiss. Statement recorded direct from subject, 29th July, 2016. In your own time.

SASHA

I'm guessing you want to hear everything that isn't on tape? Because there's really not much, just that I was getting from point to point.

ARCHIVIST

It would still help with a fuller picture.

SASHA

Right. Well, after I ran out of Martin's mini bunker _(Archivist can be heard suppressing a snicker)_ to warn Tim, we actually got separated pretty quickly. He dropped the recorder, I picked it up, and I ran to the fire alarm.

...

I thought he was behind me.

ARCHIVIST

That seems to have been a common misconception.

SASHA

...

Well, after I turned it on and nothing happened, I ran to the boss's office, and he told me where to find the manual release. I mean, I guess it's not a bad thing that CO2 isn't released by simply sounding the alarm when there isn't any fire, but still.

So me and Elias ran for the manual system, and _(frustrated groan)_ got separated by a wave of worms, and I...

ARCHIVIST

 _(softly)_ I got the rest from the tapes, except for how you got out.

SASHA

I didn't. I stayed there, _(voice cracking)_ curled up in a ball, until someone popped in and led me out. _(sniff)_ Don't remember who.

ARCHIVIST

Probably the firefighters.

SASHA

Maybe.

 _(in a slightly more cheerful tone)_ That's all, right?

ARCHIVIST

From you, yes. Would you call Martin here?

SASHA

...

You left him for last. Is that because he was the one who found the body?

...

You know we will investigate whatever happened, right?

ARCHIVIST

I, I was, planning on that.

SASHA

Good to know you're in! Two pairs of eyes and hands are better than one, and I bet I can convince Tim and Martin to join us, too.

ARCHIVIST

 _(overlapping)_ I was...

SASHA

 _(overlapping)_ I'll call Martin in, and when you're back from break, we'll start!

[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]

ARCHIVIST

...

[CLICK]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not commited to only tape format. While it might be all tapes in the end, there might also be group chats and might be plain narration. The prologue was easiest to write as a tape, we'll see how it goes later (if it does).


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I warned you that I would likely mix and match styles. I really did  
> also I made a consicous decision to not correct any typos when I'm writing Tim's messages and I stg it's very hard

**Welcome to #investigation!**

**This is the start of the #investigation channel.**

Yay you made it, **kayaker extraordinaire**!

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** oh hey im the first one

 **miss marple:** that’s because I know your handle and am currently looking for the others

Glad you’re here, **MartinK**.

Welcome, **Captain**. We hope you brought pizza.

 **miss marple:** nope you’re not the captain in this particular investigation

[miss marple changed Captain’s nickname to First Mate]

[First Mate is typing…]

 **First Mate:** At least you saved the capitalization.

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** lmao of course you type with all proper rules

 **First Mate:** They’re there for a reason.

 **MartinK:** ok but

 **MartinK:** I don’t think that’s the point right now?

 **miss marple:** thank you martin

 **miss marple:** as you hopefully all know already, gertrude robinson was murdered by “normal” human means

 **miss marple:** AKA a gun

 **First Mate:** Three times.

 **MartinK:** I don’t think she died three times

 **First Mate:** She was shot three times.

 **miss marple:** ANYWAY

 **miss marple:** she was probably killed in the institute

 **miss marple:** which means that it might’ve had something to do with what she was doing

 **miss marple:** now, _**are we all**_ in agreement that we don’t want history to repeat itself?

 **MartinK:** yes.

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** but s _asha_

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** what happened to our plans

 **First Mate:** What plans?

 **miss marple:** I’m discarding them as we speak

 **miss marple:** now that we know the previous head archivist has been murdered and it didn’t help with the glass ceiling, I doubt killing the new head archivist will

 **MartinK:** you’re joking, right???

 **miss marple:** yeah dw I’m not going to kill jon

 **miss marple:** and if I was I wouldn’t talk about it with him right here

 **miss marple:** also after the recent development I’m suddenly less keen on becoming the next head archivist

 **First Mate:** What does that mean?

 **miss marple:** I don’t want to get murdered

[First Mate is typing…]

 **First Mate:** Right.

 **miss marple:** and since none of us want jon to get murdered, we’re going to find out who did it

 **miss marple:** if they’re still alive, I’m going to so deeply wish they weren’t

 **MartinK:** seconded

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** okay but I have two coditions

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** first, martin, you _gotta_ change your nickname

 **MartinK:** what???

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** even jons nickname is interesting!

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** like ok “first mate” is sashas idea but before that he was “captain”

 **First Mate:** Should I feel insulted?

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** what im saying is

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** step up ur game

[MartinK is typing…]

 **miss marple:** if you don’t I will

 **MartinK:** I just don’t have any better ideas ok???

 **miss marple:** too bad!

[miss marple changed MartinK’s nickname to pink fluffy unicorn]

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** I TAKE IT BACK ITS AWFUL

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** NOW ITS STUCK IN MY HEAD FOREVER

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** GOD IS A DEMIGIRL HER NAME IS SASHA AND SHE KNOWS ALL MY SINS AND IS PUNISHING ME ACCORDINGLY

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** I’d complain but Tim’s reaction is too good

 **First Mate:** I’m going to regret it, but.

 **First Mate:** Care to enlighten me?

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** oh my G _OD_

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-xWhG4UU_Y ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-xWhG4UU_Y)

**kayaker extraordinaire:** you _better_ wach all the way through

 **First Mate:** I got the gist of it.

 **First Mate:** What was your second “codition”?

 **miss marple:** SAVAGE

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** just because yall correct your typos before sending doesnt mean i should be mocked for not doing so

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** unless it like makes me hard to understand

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** anyway

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** if were to investigate together

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** we gotta _bond_

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** ;)

 **First Mate:** I don’t like where this is going.

 **miss marple:** oooh I like where this is going

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** yall free this weekend?

 **First Mate:** As of right now, I’m not.

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** glad to see you on board

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** friday after work were going 2 my place and we play games n have fun

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** mb even turn it into a skeepover

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** and jon

 **First Mate:** ...What is it?

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** i cannot stress this enough

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** _bring your tape recorder_

* * *

[CLICK]

ARCHIVIST

Alright, it's on.

TIM

Okay, so, I haven't actually decided on a specific activity, but _(paper rustling)_ I have a couple of options written down on paper slips! Sasha, if you'd like to draw one?

ARCHIVIST

No, no, no. If we want it to be fair, Sasha has to hold the papers and Martin has to draw.

[VARIOUS OFFENDED AND SURPRISED ASSISTANT NOISES]

TIM

Alright, fine.

[MORE PAPER RUSTLING, UNTIL]

MARTIN

Um, this one says "T slash D".

TIM & SASHA

_Oooh._

TIM

Well, I'll bring the wine -

SASHA

\- I'll explain the rules.

[DOOR OPENS, FOOTSTEPS WALK AWAY]

 _Sooo,_ Truth or Dare.

ARCHIVIST

 _(quietly)_ Oh no.

SASHA

In our version, whoever answered the last one is getting to ask the next one, you can't ask the same person more than two times in a row, and we have a special rule in place that you can refuse to answer the exact thing you've been asked if it's particularly uncomfortable, but whoever asked you gets another shot until you do answer something.

[FOOTSTEPS COME BACK]

MARTIN

Um, can I get an example?

[GLASS JINGLING, DOOR CLOSES]

SASHA

 _(mischievously)_ Oh, Tim, would you like to give us the example of the additional rule?

TIM

 _(faux grumpy)_ Fine, but it counts as the first turn and you asking me for a truth.

SASHA

Sure. You tell the story -

TIM

\- you pour the wine.

[SOUND OF A BOTTLE BEING OPENED AND WINE BEING POURED]

So, here's the story of back when we didn't have the rule in place but it would have been really fucking useful. Picture me, Sasha and four other people, already somewhat tipsy and in the middle of a game. Now, this happened after, uuuh -

SASHA

\- Diana -

TIM

\- right, thank you, dared me to sing Mamma Mia, which really meant "as much as tipsy me could remember of Mamma Mia, replacing the rest with swearing to the melody". So now it's my turn, and I shoot back at Diana, and she picks truth, and I go "describe me in two words your relationship with your mom". She goes silent for a solid minute, until she finally answers. I quote you the answer.

"Which one."

MARTIN

 _(quietly)_ Oof.

TIM

Well, I believe you can imagine the rest -

SASHA

 _(overlapping)_ No, tell them!

TIM

Fine. _(sighs loudly)_ So now all of us go silent, too, and after a minute, uhhh -

SASHA

\- Kira -

TIM

\- smiles widely and says "I believe that was two words", shooting daggers at me, which I knew I deserved. And then after another minute Sasha declares the privacy rule, and another silent minute later the game picks up, but it doesn't stop being awkward until maybe ten more minutes later. So basically, if a truth or a dare is uncomfortable for some reason, you can say "Think of another one", and there's no judgement involved. We don't want history to repeat itself.

ARCHIVIST

Yeah, that does sound...

MARTIN

Awkward.

TIM

I believe now's my turn, then?

SASHA

Mm hm.

TIM

Martin, truth or dare?

MARTIN

What, me? Um, truth?

TIM

Okay, I'll go easy on you since we basically just started. What's your favorite colour?

MARTIN

I, I don't know. But probably light brown and pastel pink?

SASHA

 _(overlapping)_ Whaaat?

TIM

 _(overlapping)_ Wait, seriously? _Brown_?

MARTIN

I-I mean, it's just, whenever I'm happy, it feels like brown to me. And pink is warmth and safety.

SASHA

 _(realization hits)_ Aah, you're a synesthete! That explains it. Do you have other associations like that? Like, maybe you link sounds or letters to colours?

MARTIN

 _(chuckling)_ That sounds like a new question to me.

SASHA

Aaaw.

ARCHIVIST

Guess it's your turn now.

MARTIN

Oh, right. Mmm... Sasha?

SASHA

Tough choice. Let's make it truth, show me what you got.

MARTIN

What was your favorite childhood cartoon?

SASHA

Definitely the ones dad made with stacks of paper and drawing in the corner. There was one with a lonely wolf howling and the moon and then more wolves joining and the first wolf wasn't lonely anymore. Other than that, Scooby Doo.

ARCHIVIST

Of course it is.

SASHA

Uh oh Jon, you caught my radar! Truth or dare?

ARCHIVIST

...Truth.

SASHA

Hah! That one's not for me, because I know the answer already, but for these two. How old are you _really_?

ARCHIVIST

 _(sighs)_ Twenty-nine.

TIM

 _(overlapping)_ What?!

MARTIN

 _(overlapping)_ Wait, seriously?

SASHA

 _(smug)_ Mm hm.

TIM

 _(agitated)_ This is impossible!

ARCHIVIST

Before you ask, no, I'm not showing you my birth certificate. I believe that makes it my turn?

Martin, if you don't mind?

MARTIN

Okay. Truth.

ARCHIVIST

What other synesthetic associations do you experience?

[IF YOU KNOW WHAT TO LISTEN FOR, YOU CAN HEAR STATIC PICK UP]

MARTIN

Well, you already know that emotions feel like colours to me, and that's the main one. Some sounds also have colours, and also so do the statement tapes? I don't know why tapes specifically, the statements on paper don't. There's always the transparent brown on them, but usually the main colour is something else, and it gets mixed sometimes. And most the other things are probably just associations, like Tim's name is blue because the feeling of engaging in friendly banter is blue.

[A FEW SECONDS OF SILENCE, THEN]

SASHA

Anyone else thinking that it has something to do with -

ARCHIVIST

\- the reality of the statements that only go on tape? Yes, it might as well be the case. Might be a good idea -

SASHA

\- to sort them by colour?

TIM

 _(faux offended)_ Hey, that's _our_ thing!

SASHA

Not when it comes to organizing the Archives!

MARTIN

Maybe let's talk about it when it's actually work time?

TIM

Friendship ended with Sasha, Martin is my new favourite person.

SASHA

 _(theatrically)_ Nooo! I'm sorry, I won't do this again!

TIM

Oh really?

SASHA

You're right, I will, but I am still deeply hurt by the betrayal!

TIM

Maybe you'll think twice the next time, then!

SASHA

Maybe I will. Shall we get back to the game? Martin's turn is here.

MARTIN

Oh, right! Uh, Tim?

TIM

Since it looks like no one will start if I don't, make it a dare.

MARTIN

Okay, wow. Hm.

SASHA

It's the first today, so no pressure to come up with a good one.

MARTIN

Um, good?

Okay, think I got it. You must've seen Tangled, right?

TIM

I like where this is going! It's only been ten times, but yes I did!

MARTIN

I dare you to sing "When will my life begin".

TIM

Oh, you'll want this on video!

SASHA

I'll save us the space on the tape.

[CLICK]

[CLICK]

[SOUNDS OF CLAPPING, AT FIRST OBVIOUSLY ONLY ONE PAIR OF HANDS, BUT THEN TWO MORE JOIN IN]

TIM

 _(as the applause dies down)_ Thank you, thank you. Now, Jon, you're up!

ARCHIVIST

...

Dare.

TIM

Oh, really?

Well, if you refuse to bare your soul, you have to bare your chest instead!

ARCHIVIST

I...

SASHA

I'll join in on this one, if it makes it feel less awkward.

TIM

Sasha, I know you're a big fan of showing off your top surgery scars, but that opportunity is _really_ far-fetched!

SASHA

Shush! If our boss doesn't invoke the rule, I'm joining in, because being the only shirtless person in the room sucks.

TIM

Fine. What will it be?

ARCHIVIST

...

Can I leave my binder on?

TIM

...

Yes.

[FABRIC RUSTLING]

Sasha, how the hell did you know?

SASHA

Only suspected after I couldn't trace "Jonathan Sims" very far back.

When you're ready, Jon.

ARCHIVIST

Okay, then. Sa-

[RECORDING ENDS ABRUPTLY]

* * *

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** sasha

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** sasha

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** sasha make my name blue here

 **miss marple:** fine gimme a sec

 **miss marple:** actually martin what are the other colours for us?

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** awww

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** you're dark orange, Jon is light brown, and I don't really have a consistent colour for myself

 **First Mate:** I'm afraid the recorder ran out of batteries early on.

 **miss marple:** I'm making you pastel pink then

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** whaaat?(

 **First Mate:** It cuts off right before I ask Sasha her opinion on pineapple on pizza.

 **miss marple:** NO

 **miss marple:** HOW WILL THE WORLD KNOW I LIKE HAWAIIAN PIZZA NOW

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** youll have to scream it out

 **miss marple:** my voice is betraying me

 **miss marple:** and it's your fault

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** YOU DIDNT HAVE TO GO SO HARD

 **miss marple:** IT'S WHAT THEY SAID TO DEEDEE AND THEY WERE WRONG

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** wdym it's what they said to Deedee?

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** the song wouldve been more lowkey but then deedee actually sang it and they had to redraw some panels bc of her interpretation

 **miss marple:** that's bc SHE WAS RIGHT

 **First Mate:** At least we recorded the majority of songs on video.

 **First Mate:** I'll admit I actually had fun yesterday.

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** who r you and what did you do tio uor grumpy boss

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** *to our

 **miss marple:** guess we have to do this more often

 **miss marple:** also

[miss marple changed kayaker extraordinaire's nickname to best disney princess]

* * *

 **saschuyler:** tim

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** yes?

 **saschuyler:** martin says he connects people to colours based on emotions

 **saschuyler:** martin also says jon is light brown

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** oh goddammit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, I'm making a reference to the Mechanisms with Jon's username here  
> no, they weren't his college band for these two reasons:  
> one, I don't know a whole lot about them  
> two, I really like Nikola and Toy Soldier both, so if I'm going to include the Mechs, it will be a future thing  
> also, originally the privacy rule was meant to get established in the game when Tim dared Jon to take off his shirt, but then I switched it up


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw, did you see the tag "I don't know where this is going to end up"? as a prime example, I didn't know Martin was going to be a synesthete here until after I started writing his explanation on why his favourite colour is light brown  
> the paragraph that starts with "Four were classified as magenta" and the next one are basically the sorting of all the season one statements into entities. it explains almost noting about which is which. if you don't want to guess, you can skip them

**kayaker extraordinaire:** ok lets get this straight

 **saschuyler:** forbidden

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** damn you beat me to it

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** anyway

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** am i to get the impression that

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** a, you think that martin "resident softie" blackwood has a crush on jonathan "the only thing we know about him is that hes snappy" sims

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** b, he said whatever it was you got the idea from where said mr snappy could hear it

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** and c, he didnt immediately delete it upon realizing what he just said

 **saschuyler:** yes

 **saschuyler:** hear me out

 **saschuyler:** point a isn't even really a point. we don't know anything about his taste in people. also, after yesterday we do know some more things about jon

 **saschuyler:** point b is that I asked him, and he answered almost immediately, without having time to think

 **saschuyler:** as for point c, jon's next message is the next one after the colour talk

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** oh, thats right

 **saschuyler:** and as an extra point

 **saschuyler:** jon is really good at denial

 **saschuyler:** and pretty dense

 **saschuyler:** so him not noticing martin pretty much saying "I associate you with happiness" is very in character

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** ok i see your point

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** what are you planning to do about it

 **saschuyler:** watch from afar

 **saschuyler:** and hit jon with a cartoon hammer every time he's mean to martin

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** seriously? thats it?

 **saschuyler:** don't get me wrong I want to see martin happy as much as the next person but I also want to make sure I'm not overstepping the other person's boundaries

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** fair point

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** see you mpnday and well see then

* * *

"Okay so, I mostly sorted them," Martin says, laying the tapes out on the empty table in the break room. "Afraid not a lot of them are strictly one colour, but I did my best." About fourty tapes have been organized in groups, with one of the groups being labeled "Mixed". Most of them were coded with markers of actual colours, but some had to make do with simple descrriptions.

Four were classified as magenta, with one having a sticky note "small cerulean". Two were deep purple, with one labeled "small old blood and brown". Five were put under "old blood", which definitely wasn't unsettling to any of them; one was labeled as "small deep purple" and one was "small lot of stuff". Seven more were "a sickening green", including Martin's statement about Jane Prentiss and three tapes that carried the history of the Prentiss attack; Jane's own statement was also there and labeled as "small cerulean"; another tape had a label of "small fresh blood". One was "steel". One was cerulean. Two were fiery red, with one bearing a note "small brown". Four tapes were sorted into "the most eyestrain-y green you can imagine", with two labeled as being two halves of the same statement and "small lot of stuff". One was labeled with black. Two were "fresh blood". Two were white. Two were light grey, and Jon recognized the number one of them as the first live statement. Two were dark grey, with one having a label "small magenta". One was brown.

That left five tapes in the "Mixed" category. One of them was simply labeled as "everything". The one with Sasha's statement about her ecounter with Michael was signed as "Michael is eyestrain green, Timothy Hodge is, surprise, sick green". One was "fresh blood and black". One was "Hilltop Road is cerulean, Agnes is fiery red, dad's fractals are eyestrain green". And Melanie King's statement was "Sarah is magenta, the specter is steel".

After a few minutes of looking at the system, Tim gives up. "Okay, is there anything you can actually tell from this?"

"Not a lot, sorry. Eyestrain green seems to go hand in hand with some sort of insanity, and a lot of gross things fall into the bad green, but that spider statement and all the spider and spider web mentions are very clearly cerulean", Martin stops as he sees Tim's expression. "Uh, is something wrong?"

"That just reminded me of something I wanted to repress very badly. Please tell me cerulean doesn't _also_ mean mind control."

"Not that I can see so far? But also I have no idea what makes Hilltop Road cerulean. Also, the things that are gross because they have to go with bodies are all old blood. Fiery red seems to go with heat, instances of black both were related to darkness. White was death. Fresh blood... well, one of them is vampires, and the other is werewolves, so I guess it's somewhere along these lines, but it's also Robert Montauk carving people's bloody hearts out."

"Are you swearing or are you using a descriptor?" Sasha quips.

"Maybe both." Despite the exasperation in his voice, Martin smiles at the remark. "But also, here's the main bit. All the follow up sounds brown. So does this goth guy with eye tattoos. And, so does Jon, whenever he's asking for information in live statements."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Whenever you ask something, some bit of information, on tape, you voice sounds brown. My best guess is that brown deals in information, and maybe eyes are in there somehow."

For almost a minute the room is silent. Then Sasha speaks.

"Do you know if it's questions, asking for spooky information, or Jon asking?"

"It- It can't be me. I'm not-"

"Not spooky?" Tim interrupts.

"Not _supernatural_."

"Sure you aren't", Sasha smiles. "Well, if there isn't a fourth explanation I haven't thought of, what little we actually have recorded of our game should make a difference between the three, or at least separate whether it's questions in general."

"Suppose it's a good thing Tim pestered me to bring it, then", Jon says with resignation.

Twenty minutes of searching for the tape and short term nostalgia later, Martin hits pause for what must be the seventh time overall but the first time on his behalf. "Jon is the only one who sounds brown when asking questions. And it's not just your voice, it's specifically, well, requests for information. And specifically coming from you. Sorry."

Jon's face puts on a very neutral expression. "I see." Small pause. "I still need to do some follow up on Ms. Ling's statement. If you figure out something else, let me know."

* * *

**Welcome to #assistants-secrets!**

**This is the start of the #assistants-secrets channel.**

**miss marple:** I don't think jon is a fan of the fact that he has a spooky question voice

 **miss marple:** while he would totally do the "not leave his office for hours" thing normally, he def was escaping the conversation

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** oh no

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** I'm sorry I didn't think he'd react like this

 **miss marple:** it's valuable information tho

 **miss marple:** while we don't have confirmation what it means, I have a pretty good guess

 **best disney princess:** someomnes earning their nickname

 **miss marple:** I mean my guess is really simple

 **miss marple:** questions + information power = questions you have to answer truthfully

 **best disney princess:** explains why you went all out on his question about how you knew he was ace instead of mentioning the ring and being done with it

 **miss marple:** ugh that's right

 **miss marple:** but ngl it's probably bc he said it and I didn't feel the need to be vague

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** I don't really care what that "spooky question voice" means actually

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** that's not important right now

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** what is is that you're probably right about Jon being distressed

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** I'm going to go check on him

 **miss marple:** good luck


	4. Chapter 4

[CLICK]

ARCHIVIST

-ah!

MARTIN

 _(overlapping)_ -orry! I didn't mean to startle you!

ARCHIVIST

 _(overlapping)_ No, no, it's okay! Sorry, I was a bit...

MARTIN

Out of it?

ARCHIVIST

Yeah, I guess you could say that.

MARTIN

Are you- are you okay? You haven't left your office for two and half hours now, and... I'm worried.

ARCHIVIST

Yes, I'm alright. Thank you, Martin.

MARTIN

 _(audible squint)_ Are you _sure_?

ARCHIVIST

Yes, I am.

MARTIN

 _(not convinced)_ Okay.

But just so you know, you don't _have_ to be okay. I wouldn't expect _anyone_ to be okay after...

ARCHIVIST

Finding out that their voice gets paranormal when it comes to asking questions?

MARTIN

Yeah. That's... yeah.

ARCHIVIST

I'll survive.

Why are- uh. I would like to know why you wanted to check on me.

MARTIN

Uh, because I care about you? Why does that need to be said?

 _(quieter)_ You can ask about that one. Our theory is that it can make people tell the truth, so... if you really can't believe that, maybe that will... I don't know, help.

ARCHIVIST

...

Was all of what you said in this conversation true?

[STATIC PICKS UP]

MARTIN

Not all of it, I think Sasha would be okay with the revelation she's a living polygraph. But the rest of it is true.

Oh, oh no, I'm-

ARCHIVIST

 _(overlapping)_ It's alright. _(chuckles)_ That actually makes me feel better. I'd expect her to take it in stride, too.

...

Why is the recorder running?

MARTIN

You must've accidentally hit it when I walked in.

ARCHIVIST

What, you mean like tha-

[CLICK]

* * *

**#investigation**

**pink fluffy unicorn:** maybe it's a good idea to change this one to bonding plans and create a new channel for investigation since Tim kinda hijacked it

 **miss marple:** roger that

(miss marple changed the channel's name to #bonding-plans)

* * *

**Welcome to #actually-investigation!**

**This is the start of #actually-investigation channel.**

**pink fluffy unicorn:** I think we got confirmation of brown question voice theory

 **miss marple:**...is that good

 **First Mate:** No.

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** it's ok

 **miss marple:** jon what is the bad part

 **First Mate:** The part where I made Martin tell the truth he originally chose not to tell.

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** I literally told you you could do it

 **best disney princess:** martin wind this one

 **best disney princess:** *wins

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** my only concern about that was that it's kind of a bad thing to say to someone going through stuff

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** but if you say this was okay with you, then case closed

 **miss marple:** may I get filled in

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** I said I'd expect you to be okay with finding out you have spooky question voice

 **miss marple:** hm

 **miss marple:** maybe

 **best disney princess:** oh she totally would

 **best disney princess:** shed only maybe complain that it makes games like mafia lose their charm

 **miss marple:** fuck that's true

 **miss marple:** rip jon's ability to play mafia

 **First Mate:** I won't miss it. The game is highly stressful.

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** more so than overworking yourself?

**best disney princess: ^^^**

**miss marple:** tell him martin

 **First Mate:** This is different.

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** sure

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** anyway

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** if Jon is okay with it, it can be used as a tool in investigation

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** it's limited but it's there

 **First Mate:** I suppose I could ask our suspects whether or not they killed Gertrude Robinson?

 **First Mate:** You three are first.

 **best disney princess:** seriously?

 **First Mate:** I have to eliminate the possibility.

 **miss marple:** I agree on the condition that you actually somewhat relax afterwards

 **miss marple:** ik it's too much to ask you to relax 100% but it's not healthy to be stressing that much

 **best disney princess:** you know what seconded

 **First Mate:** Alright.

 **First Mate:** I will try.

* * *

**#bonding-plans**

**miss marple:** we're going to the nearby cafe as soon as the workday is over

 **miss marple:** if you want to record it on tape be my guest but I don't have anything interesting planned

 **best disney princess:** do I have to do everything arpund here

 **miss marple:** yes

 **best disney princess:** you have signed your penalty >:)

 **First Mate:** I'd rather not.

 **First Mate:** I still haven't recovered from Friday.

 **best disney princess:** :(

 **best disney princess:** okay

 **best disney princess:** just know that our glinda competition isnt over

 **miss marple:** whoa you're serious about this one

 **miss marple:** do you have rules figured out

 **best disney princess:** none except that the loser is fiyero

 **miss marple:** also who are the rest of the cast

 **First Mate:** Well.

 **First Mate:** I think I know a good Elphaba.

 **First Mate:** Kindhearted, originally overlooked by Glinda (me) for superficial reasons, but then Glinda came to know and appreciate Elphie.

 **First Mate:** And I have no evidence for that one, but you don't want to find out what happens if you piss them off.

 **miss marple:** I'm convinced

 **pink fluffy unicorn:** I'm confused

[miss marple changed pink fluffy unicorn's nickname to Elphie]

 **Elphie:** oh.

 **Elphie:** um, okay?

 **miss marple:** what does that make me

 **best disney princess:** youre no biq and no nessa

 **best disney princess:** tbh i dont know anyone whos either of those

 **best disney princess:** OH IK

 **best disney princess:** THE GOAT DOCTOR

 **best disney princess:** JON BACK ME UP

 **miss marple:** no need, I accept

 **First Mate:** Elias is The Wizard.

 **Elphie:** does that make Rosie Morrible

 **best disney princess:** beat me to it

* * *

**kayaker extraordinaire:** am i imagining thinhs or is jon engaging with us during work time

 **saschuyler:** my guess is that we're growing on him a little + he feels guilty over the first polygraph incident and is trying to find any evidence that martin is mad at him

 **saschuyler:** or that any of us are mad over him wanting to be sure none of us are killers

 **saschuyler:** which don't get me wrong I am a little but I would do the same in his place

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** uh no you wouldnt?

 **saschuyler:** it's sweet that you say so but you know you're wrong

 **saschuyler:** if I was in his place I'd try to get the truth out of my assistants even if I didn't have spooky means to

 **saschuyler:** and out of elias as well

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** sigh

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** you would wouldnt you

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** and id be just as angry about it

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** which is a little bit with the polygraph powers dirct questioon and a lot with snooping around

 **sascuyler:** good for jon he had the former then lol

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** oh nah that wasnt what saved him

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** teh whole reason i didnt say shit abot how dare he is that he visibly relaxed like 10%

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** hes on thin fucking ice but if these 10% mean he trsuts us now ill take it

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** now shush i got a plan to plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do you mean I have to progress the plot? how am I supposed to make characters interact then?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed eyestrain yellow to eyestrain green for reasons

**#bonding-plans**

**miss marple:** you better have had fun yesterday

 **Elphie:** we did!

 **best disney princess:** wow way to wake me up

 **best disney princess:** im still not convinced jon is glinda btw

 **miss marple:** he has the hair for it

 **best disney princess:** hes also like a foot taller than the most iconic glinda out there

 **First Mate:** Only 10 inches.

 **miss marple:** tim you don't get it

 **miss marple:** yes when jon's hair is in a ponytail it's not glinda

 **miss marple:** but based on my research I'm making an assumption that it's a "no talk me stressy" hair

 **First Mate:** Not the words I'd use.

 **First Mate:** But you're very loosely correct.

 **miss marple:** nice to see I'm still a genius

 **miss marple:** but the way you had it yesterday, actually the first time I saw it like that since prentiss attack

 **miss marple:** you used to have the half up half down pretty much always

 **best disney princess:** oh thats right

 **best disney princess:** doesnt explain why i qualify less tho

 **miss marple:** as much as I'd love for you to win, your overall style is a couple degrees more masculine than the hyperfeminine glinda allows, but is in the _exact_ range of fiyero

 **miss marple:** and I don't just mean clothing style

 **best disney princess:** are you calling jon feminine

 **miss marple:** more so than you that's for sure

 **First Mate:** Plus this way we get a full gender match.

 **best disney princess:** says the person who assigned martin to be elphaba

 **First Mate:** You can't argue that he doesn't fit the bill.

 **Elphie:** I don't know actually

 **miss marple:** martin you do fit the bill

 **miss marple:** trust me I know

 **best disney princess:** hear hear

* * *

**MartinK:** that statement was steel, mentioned a black guy who had white about him so that was confusing

 **MartinK:** and the tape you told me not to listen to was dark grey, with the usual transparent brown coat

 **Captain:** Thank you.

 **Captain:** I'm afraid I have two more tapes that I would rather you not listen to.

 **Captain:**...No, only one.

 **MartinK:**?

 **Captain:** Basira's statement contains a lot of confidential details.

 **Captain:** The other is one of Gertrude's tapes. You were the one who found them, after all.

 **Captain:** I haven't listened to it yet.

 **MartinK:** oh. okay

* * *

[CLICK]

MARTIN

Wait, you want me to talk about colours on record?

ARCHIVIST

Wouldn't hurt.

MARTIN

Um. Okay.

Basira's statement is fiery red and white, but they look like they don't intersect. Like there were two entirely separate situations. There are also spots of fresh blood in the white half. Gertrude's tape is all magenta.

ARCHIVIST

Fiery red and white... That tracks. Not sure what fresh blood refers to, there.

With magenta so far I don't see consistency. We have two figures "folding in on themselves", both linked to different kinds of disappearances - one replaced someone, one kidnapped some people, out of which one turned up again also being magenta. We have these delivery men, who are "completely unremarkable", whatever that means, we have a calliope and a clown doll and mutilated dolls, we have some... shapeshifters, trying to shift themselves into having their bodies be more human. There's, there's nothing in common there. Not that I can see.

MARTIN

Maybe magenta is miscellaneous.

ARCHIVIST

Maybe.

Do you want to listen to the tape with me?

MARTIN

Sure.

[CLICK]

* * *

**#actually-investigation**

**Elphie:** should we have separate channels for murder investigation and spookiness investigation?

 **miss marple:** I'm just going to make you an admin with all these good ideas of yours

* * *

**Welcome to #spooky-investigation!**

**This is the start of the #spooky-investigation channel.**

**Elphie:** there we go

 **First Mate:** Things magenta is definitely affiliated with: circus.

 **First Mate:** The rest is all mismatched.

 **best disney princess:** no tell me what are the others

 **best disney princess:** i need details

 **First Mate:**...All right.

 **First Mate:** So far the circus was specifically The Other Circus, or Circus Of The Other. It's unclear, because it's been named both. It seems to be Russian.

 **First Mate:** Breekon and Hope, the delivery men, are also magenta. I suspect they might have been the strongmen of the circus.

 **First Mate:** Other things involve shapeshifters trying to make their bodies human, two different figures "folding on themselves" linked to entirely different disappearance cases and a woman who was one of the victims of one of these figures.

 **best disney princess:** what exactly do you mean by different disappearances

 **First Mate:** One of them was described as a metaphorical anglerfish, and there are several "normal" disppearances presumably linked to it. It asked those who encountered it for a cigarette, and presumably was only able to get them if they got closer to it - the account we have is from someone who decided that, if it wants a cigarette, it should come and get it.

 **First Mate:** Later we have an account of one of its victims peeling off her skin and stapling it back on.

 **best disney princess:** it wasnt her

 **best disney princess:** it was someone pretending to be her

 **best disney princess:** dont ask how i knwo

[First Mate is typing...]

 **First Mate:** That doesn't surprise me that much.

 **First Mate:** The other disappearance case has the figure replace the person who disappeared. However, it didn't take on its victim's appearance. Instead, it rewrote most the records and memories of what he looked like originally. We have an account from an acquaintance who witnessed the moment when the victim got replaced and several polaroids of the original person. The other photographs all show the one who replaced him, and I suspect other people had their memories rewritten accordingly.

 **best disney princess:** i c

 **miss marple:** that seems similar to the shapeshifters as well

 **Elphie:** so it's probably not a misc category

 **First Mate:** Indeed.

 **First Mate:** "Fiery red" seems to be fire. White is death. "Cerulean" is spiders and something else in Hilltop Road, other than the apple full of spiders. "Bad green" is insects, worms, sickness. Black is darkness. "Eyestrain green" is madness and fractals. Brown is eyes and information. "Old blood", which I do not know how is different from brown aside from the categories they refer to being fairly distinct, is bodies, flesh, meat. "Fresh blood" and "steel" both seem to refer to harm being done, but the former seems to be more aimed, and the war goes with the latter. Light grey is unclear, but both tapes we have mention the name Lukas. Deep purple is sky. Dark grey is unclear - it has a coffin, and it has a claustrophobic cave, and something else that seems to play into the picture, but I can't put my finger on what the picture is. And magenta we discussed above.

 **First Mate:** Does that seem to match to all of you?

 **Elphie** pinned **a message** to this channel. **See all the pins.**

 **Elphie:** that's pretty much it, yeah

 **First Mate:** Sasha? Tim?

 **Elphie:** they're busy tossing paper balls at each other

 **best disney princess:** you didnt need to yell so loud

 **best disney princess:** i bet even jon heard this one

 **First Mate:** I did.

 **best disney princess:** anyway im not a madman like you and didnt listen to everythnig

 **miss marple:** so we need to find more that is light and dark grey and magenta

 **First Mate:** We need to find more about everything.

 **First Mate:** Not sure how we can do that, since only tapes seem to hold colour.

 **First Mate:** The only way I see to do that is to collectively throw ourselves into recording statements rather than doing any research.

 **First Mate:** Discard those that get recorded digitally.

 **First Mate:** That is, of course, if you're with me.

 **miss marple:** sure

 **best disney princess:** im in

 **First Mate:** Martin?

 **Elphie:** you better not use it as an excuse for burying yourself in work

 **Elphie:** if you do, I'm not looking at the tapes

 **First Mate:** Fine.

 **Elphie:** then I'm in

 **Elphie:** let's get to the bottom of this


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited a bit of chapter 2 to make something in this chapter be a bit less out of context

Two days later, Tim is not having a good time after hearing Martin say his latest recording was magenta.

"Are you fucking kidding me?! We find another magenta statement, and it's _nothing_ like the others! It's not circus, not bait and switch, not even the shapeshifters! No, instead, it's a taxidermy shop! How the hell is a taxidermy shop connected to, to all that?"

"Actually, it does sound connected to something mentioned in another magenta case. I can ask Jon for that one?"

"I have a better idea!" Sasha interrupts. "Well, not _better_ , but one that we should also do. We need a red string board! Or a magenta string. It's all gotta mean something, right?"

The idea was followed by silence, as both the other assistants turn to look at Sasha. She makes a point out of rolling her eyes.

"Yes, it's cliche. But in this case, it will help, so we might as well do it."

"We'd need them for each colour", Tim jumps as he wasn't expecting to hear Jon add to the discussion.

"Jon! I thought you were in your office!"

"I was, until I heard your rather undignified reaction to the latest magenta case being hard to tie in with the others."

Martin suppresses a snicker as Tim takes a breath. "You can't blame me for not being perfectly calm about it."

"No, I suppose not. We do need boards for all the colours we've encountered, as it proved insufficient to make simple assumptions based on the little amount of evidence we have. Martin, if you'd take the paragon tapes for each colour and-"

"Already ahead of you!" Sasha pipes in, taking a magenta yarn ball out of her bag. "Is that close? I'm just going to use it for my knitting if it's off, but-"

"Wait, wait, wait", Tim frowns, "you _just_ said that we needed a board. It didn't come up before at all!"

"In conversation, no. But I've thought of it, and was just waiting for a good chance to bring it up."

Jon hums in approval. "And do you have any others?"

"Not yet, no. I thought it'd be a good idea to start with magenta, as it was the one that didn't have any obvious things everything was connected to." Sasha makes eye contact with Tim, and he gives her a small smile. "Yeah, it's frustrating", he says.

"Then I suppose more yarn is still needed. I believe that qualifies as a business expense, as we need it for the job. Sasha, do we need an extra for the other investigation?"

"We don't have enough leads yet, so, not really yet. Martin, is this yarn magenta enough?"

"Yes, it is. I might need an extra pair of arms to carry the yarn. I counted fourteen colours, minus magenta thirteen, so..."

"Jon, you should join him!" Tim pipes in. "You could use the distraction!"

"I'm afraid you need me here to start making the magenta board. I've overheard Martin mention a missing link only the two of us are aware of, and Martin obviously needs to be with the yarn group."

"We can wait until you come back! Besides, can't you inform us of that missing link?"

"Sasha, it's- it's a bit-"

"Jon, she's right. You should show them that tape, _and_ you need a break."

For a few tense seconds, the archivist and the assistant look at each other, and then the former deflates. "You're right. But this _cannot_ leave this room." Small pause. "Basira managed to give me one of Gertrude's tapes. It's top of magenta drawer, I believe year nineteen seventy nine, so should start with nine seven nine."

Tim nods. "Now, go get the yarn, you two!"

As soon as the two are out of earshot, Sasha turns to him. "I suppose it's too much to ask you of all people not to interfere."

"I don't know what you're talking about", he grins. "Boss needs a break, and I need to listen to that tape."

* * *

As Martin is busying himself with matching yarn to the tapes, Jon stares intensely at the shelves, until he suddenly picks out a ball of blue yarn. Then another one, dark orange, at a different shelf. Then, hesitantly, a light brown and almost immediately a pastel pink. That finally makes Martin connect two and two, and he almost drops the dark grey tape in surprise.

"Why do you need these? I, I mean, I thought you just wanted yarn for whatever reason, but then, why _these_ colours?"

"Sasha's birthday is soon, and she knits. It's, it's mostly symbolic, but..."

"...Yeah", Martin smiles. "I'm glad to see you're warming up."

"The jury is still out", Jon says with a half hearted scowl.

"Suuure."

* * *

**#spooky-investigation**

**miss marple:** heads up this is going to be the first thing you see when you come back

**miss marple:** I don't exactly have a good wording of _how_ shapeshifters factor in this, but they have the same feeling

 **Elphie:** how did you manage to organize it with no intersections?

 **miss marple:** mainly with the power of accidentally leaving a big space where tim later put danny

 **First Mate:** About that.

 **best disney princess:** later

 **miss marple:** you better not ask questions about it

 **First Mate:** I was not planning on it.

 **Elphie:** I have an addition

 **Elphie:** weird things pretending to be normal but falling a little bit short

[best disney princess is typing...]

 **best disney princess:** checks out

 **best disney princess:** youre a genius

* * *

**saschuyler:** jon I put a tape on your desk

 **saschuyler:** it's tim's statement about danny

 **saschuyler:** he says it's better like this and that he's fine with martin hearing it but main details are definitely magenta anyway

 **Captain:** I see.

* * *

**Captain:** Do you _want_ me to listen to the tape?

 **best disney princess:** well no

 **best disney princess:** but its part of investigation so you probably need it

 **Captain:** You and Sasha already connected that case to the rest.

 **Captain:** As much as I wish to know, it's not necessary right now.

 **Captain:** I will leave it on your desk. Give it to me when you're ready to share.

 **best disney princess:** since when are you so considerate

 **best disney princess:** you jumped at the opportunity to ask me if i killed gertrude

 **Captain:** You didn't.

 **Captain:** That's enough for now.

 **best disney princess:** ...sure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> statements referenced: MAG54 "Still Life" (taxidermy shop, in the very beginning), everything related to Stranger from season one up to MAG54, and Tim's statement about Danny in MAG104  
> I feel like character voices are somewhat off (I Do Not have a grasp on "s2 Jon but more certain he doesn't have a reason to distrust his assistants"), but I hope it's close enough


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> episode timeline on the wiki is partially saving my life. they're recording roughly the same statements faster because they're not doing much of anything else but most of live statements, statements that were picked for their content, and Gertrude's tapes have to go on roughly the same time scale as originally  
> uhhh, cw for this chapter: Entitled Man Hitting On Someone Who Clearly Wants Nothing To Do With This + misgendering (that later is said to not have had Bad concequences) (third section)

**Captain:** Georgie, I'm sorry that it's the first thing I'm contacting you about after we've lost contact, but I need your help.

 **no fear:** what is it

 **Captain:** Remember what I wore to Liza's party forever ago?

 **no fear:** yes

 **no fear:** who are you socializing with

 **Captain:** Well. Technically my assistants?

 **Captain:** But they're hellbent on befriending me, and they might be succeeding in this.

 **no fear:** you wouldn't even consider This if they weren't

 **no fear:** tell me about them

 **Captain:** There's Sasha, Tim and Martin.

 **no fear:** my eyes are crying, this is why we broke up

 **Captain:** What is supposed to be crying? Not eyes?

 **no fear:** you know what I mean

 **Captain:** Oxford commas are overrated.

 **no fear:** they're essential to my understanding of the last two items as separate

 **no fear:** anyway

 **no fear:** Sasha, Tim, and Martin

 **no fear:** who are they?

* * *

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** yo jon you ok?

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** were already there and youre late thats unlike you

 **Captain:** Yes. I am on the Tube.

 **Captain:** I have been delayed.

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** what happened?

 **Captain:** ...I suppose there's no point in hiding this. I was debating my choice of clothing.

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** oooh did you dress up nicely???

 **Captain:** You could say that, but it wasn't the point of the debate.

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** youre killing me

[Captain is typing...]

 **Captain:** Suffice to say I still don't know if I regret my decision.

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** you make it sound like youre wearing a dress or something

[Captain is typing...]

[Captain is typing...]

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** oh my gOD ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU WERE ANXIOUS ABOUT THAT?

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** you know that sasha will throw hands with anyone who as much as looks at you funny about it right

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** so even if any of us did have anything wrong to say shed singlehandedly stop us

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** and martin will throw hands with anyone who looks at you funny for ANY reason and thats even scarier

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** id throw hands too but after sasha AND martin theyd be dead already

[Captain is typing...]

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** jon breathe

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** please

[Captain is typing...]

 **Captain:** All right.

Tim looks up from his phone. "Heads up, boss dressed up and is nervous about it."

Sasha hums in amusement, discreetly glancing at Martin to see him mentally prepare for whatever the "dressed up" might mean. However, these preparations are futile, as not even Tim expects the pretty person - the one in a flowy purple dress who walks in two minutes later - to beeline to their table and to turn out to be Jon. "My apologies. I hope you-"

"Holy crap Jon, what is this dress?" Sasha interrupts. "And how the hell did Tim _ever_ think he's a better Glinda?"

"Ouch, but also I can't argue here. It _quite_ suits you, boss!"

"Ooh, does it do the thing when you twirl?" Jon swiftly turns in a circle at Sasha's inquiry, and when he goes back to facing the group, he can't hide his smile.

Tim elbows Martin, who's been quiet during the entire exchange. "Come on, say something."

"I uh. I-it looks nice."

Sasha rolls eyes with the corners of her mouth pointing just a bit upwards. "He's trying to say that you look so good he has no words."

"I mean, _yeah_! That's a good dress! But also you've never worn anything like that before?"

"Not in your presense, I haven't." And with that, Jon finally sits down.

* * *

Sasha furrows her brows as she looks towards the bar, trying to see what's taking Jon so long.

"You two better behave, I need to do something." She stands up and makes a beeline to Jon and the stranger next to him. "Hey J! What's taking you so long, is this fellow bothering you?"

"Not much, he's just been telling me how he thinks it's cool that nowadays everyone has weird names." Sasha narrows her eyes at the tone he says that in. "Yeah", the stranger pipes in, "no one wants to fuck a Kate. Now, a lady named Jonny?"

That settles it. "Oh please. Neither of the two would ever want to have anything to do with you."

"Ho-"

"I'm actually surprised you are still allowed in any bars, if that's how you talk to anyone who has the misfortune of getting within six feet of you", she continues, ignoring the man's attempt to interrupt her.

"Hey now-"

"Unless that's your first attempt, in which case you're very lucky to have ran into me, because I'm going to give you a pointer: _don't_."

"Wh-"

"Did you even hear yourself? Well, no, of course you _heard_ , but did you _listen_? Because it really sounded to me like you were vomiting shit you ate earlier today just to marvel at how shit can come out of your mouth instead of your arse."

Sasha leans in closer to the man, who desperately tries to avoid eye contact. "Feel how much disgust I have for you and your kind. And do not pull that shit ever again."

(If someone were to look closer, they'd notice Sasha's eyes flicker a pitch darker. No one looks closer.)

She turns to Jon, all the harshness dropped from her expression. "You okay? Want to talk outside?"

Jon shakes a bit and nods.

* * *

 **Captain:** Sorry, I need a moment.

 **saschuyler:** it's ok! we can talk over text if that's easier

 **Captain:** Yes, that would be best.

 **saschuyler:** how are you doing?

 **Captain:** Actually, a little better since you went off on him.

 **Captain:** I swear you instilled fear of god in him and that god is you.

 **saschuyler:** I sure hope it does

 **Captain:** I'm not good with social situations, especially if they're...

 **Captain:** How do I put it.

 **saschuyler:** very clearly viewed by the other party as sexual?

 **Captain:** Well.

 **Captain:** Yes.

 **saschuyler:** and what about being called a lady?

 **Captain:** Today was an okay day for that.

 **saschuyler:** mm hm gotchu

 **saschuyler:** I'm sorry that this dude was such a bastard

 **saschuyler:** ...do you regret wearing the dress

 **Captain:** No, I don't. I like it.

 **Captain:** But I'd rather talk about something else. A distraction.

 **saschuyler:** how familiar are you with arthurian legends

 **Captain:** A bit. Why?

 **saschuyler:** you're about to get more informed as I'm going to tell you why arthur, lancelot, and guinevere should've been in a polycule

 **Captain:** Must I be surrounded by people who use oxford commas?

* * *

On Sunday a week later, Jon walks out of his office. "Sasha, if you'd add impossible hallways, today's date, to eyestrain green and connect them to Michael? Maybe also swirling patterns, with the hallways and the fractals." He holds up the tape. "Martin, could you double check if there are other details?" He pauses. "...Why are none of you walking Miss Richardson out?"

Two of the assistants share a confused look, while Martin looks at his boss with the same expression. "She didn't walk out here, Jon", Sasha speaks up.

Jon frowns. "She left my office. Could you have not noticed?"

"Not really, I was looking at your door for the past ten minutes because I was getting tired of statements that refuse to go on digital. I mean, that is what we're after, but it's a bit of a chore."

Jon's frown deepens with a realization. "A door where there shouldn't have been one. That's what her statement was about."

A door creaks open behind Sasha's desk.

"And it was very rude of you to leave without even saying hello!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: hopefully-canon-typical Michael, author's lack of knowledge in medical field (and google being unhelpful), Entitled Man 2: Electric Boogaloo

"What do you want", Sasha asks immediately, and the man - one she'd recognize if she turned around - laughs.

"Oh, I'd simply wanted the Wanderer back! But all the fun of it, ah, it's been spoiled. Your Archivist didn't even _look_ at my door in his office! Realized where she'd gone to, all by himself!"

"Not true. Had Sasha not said Miss Richardson didn't come out of my office, I would not have known that."

"I think he's just mad he didn't get to gloat", Tim quips. The man laughs again.

"Did I not? That I've taken her from right under your _watchful_ nose? From your place of power?"

Sasha responds. "I think it's just sad that what you came to gloat about is how you managed to make someone suffer. Do you have nothing better to do?"

Maybe she should've known better than to taunt someone who she knew for a fact had very sharp fingers, but she'd say it was worth it.

* * *

**#spooky-investigation**

**First Mate:** I suppose this channel is the closest fit.

 **First Mate:** Sasha is relatively alright.

 **best disney princess:** elaborate

 **First Mate:** She needed stitches, but they say they expect a full recovery. She will be discharged tomorrow.

 **best disney princess:** youre not going to request she come right back in right

 **First Mate:** Absolutely not. The earliest she's allowed to come back in is Thursday.

 **best disney princess:** *squints*

 **miss marple:** he wouldnnt be abl to stpo me

 **Elphie:** Sasha!

 **best disney princess:** sahs!!!

 **First Mate:** Case in point.

 **First Mate:** Persuaded me to give her her phone as soon as she realized I was talking to you.

 **miss marple:** wht was I meantto do

 **best disney princess:** idk sleep

 **miss marple:** too dopd up

 **Elphie:** have to agree with Tim here

 **First Mate:** She did close her eyes.

 **First Mate:** I'll be leaving, but I will pick her up tomorrow.

* * *

[CLICK}

TODD

Seriously? A tape recorder?

MARTIN

 _(somewhat angrily)_ Yes, seriously, a tape recorder. You saw how the laptop glitched out.

TODD

Can't you just fix it?

MARTIN

We found it saves time when we use a tape recorder instead.

Statement of Todd Johnson, regarding a strange woman, recorded direct from subject, October 3rd 2016.

Statement begins.

TODD

So I'm flirting with that hot thing at the bar, right? And it's going well, she's smiling and looking away and doing that thing women do when she says "please stop" but you know she doesn't mean it.

[YOU CAN ALMOST HEAR MARTIN'S SOUL LEAVE HIS BODY]

And then the woman, her friend, comes by and asks her in that very peppy voice how is she doing and if- if I'm _bothering_ her. So of course she says no, and I pay her a compliment so that the friend sees we're having a nice time, and she just snaps. I swear, girls get jealous over weirdest things. The point is, she snaps and starts ranting about how I'm an awful person and should never do this again.

And then she looks me in the eyes and, I remembered this exactly, says "Feel how much disgust I have for you and your kind." And- and I do. I see myself through her eyes and feel how much she hates me for a solid minute before she turns to her friend and softly asks her if she'd like to, to talk outside.

...

That's it.

MARTIN

 _(best customer service voice)_ I see. Thank you for your time. I trust you can find your way out?

TODD

Yeah, I'm not stupid.

MARTIN

...

 _(quietly, presumably having waited for Todd to get out of earshot)_ Oh really?

[CLICK]

* * *

**#spooky-investigation**

**Elphie:** got another brown one

 **Elphie:** wish I didn't

 **Elphie:** the statement giver was a White Cishet Man TM

 **miss marple:** oh ew

 **miss marple:** please tell me someone put him in his place

 **Elphie:** that's what happened!

 **Elphie:** some woman went "feel the disgust I have for you" and he did

[miss marple and First Mate are typing...]

[miss marple is typing...]

 **miss marple:** I need to listen to it


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> want to note again that almost all the typos Tim makes are typos I make when typing up his text. the exceptions are when I don't make a typo for a long time and do something small like switching up p for an o

**#spooky-investigation**

**miss marple:** okay so I listened (ty tim for bringing it) and all evidence points to the fact that the "strange woman" is me

 **miss marple:** wish I'd known that and could make it more intense

 **best disney princess:** and the award for guessing sahse jammed would take having weird powers in stride goes to literally everyoen

 **best disney princess:** lmao "sahse jammed" how did i fuck it up that badly

 **miss marple:** that's the knockoff version of me

 **best disney princess:** so jon?

 **First Mate:** I'm right here.

 **best disney princess:** yeah and

 **best disney princess:** we all know she hsouldve gotten the job

 **First Mate:** That still doesn't make me a worse version of her.

 **Elphie:** we're getting off topic

 **Elphie:** the topic is that Jon AND Sasha got some weird brown powers

 **Elphie:** unsure how Sasha's tie to information though

 **miss marple:** I _was_ making eye contact but that's a stretch

 **miss marple:** mb like making him aware of how much of a piece of shit he is in my eyes

 **Elphie:** that's a stretch too, but a lesser one, so I'll pin it like that

 **Elphie:** I'm also adding The Magnus Institute to the brown board

 **First Mate:** Might also add Jonah Magnus. This might be a stretch as well, but the first brown statement we had _was_ a letter to him.

 **miss marple:** hm.

 **miss marple:** sounds good to me

 **miss marple:** jon you sure I can't come back in until thursday

 **First Mate:** Yes, I am sure.

 **First Mate:** The only reason you're not staying home until Monday is that I am not allowed to give the entire team _and_ myself an unauthorized day off for your birthday, and I wouldn't be able to stop you from coming in to see us that day.

 **First Mate:** That is, unless you don't want me to be there. But as much as that would help with making you rest by simply giving the day off to both Tim and Martin, I do not believe that to be the case.

 **miss marple:** no no no jon I want to spend time with all three of you for my birthday

 **miss marple:** especially since that means I can come back earlier

 **miss marple:** staying home is so boring

 **best disney princess:** sash I love u but I gotta admit jons rihgt

 **Elphie:** ^^^

 **miss marple:** ugh fine

 **miss marple:** I'll just go out and try to terrorize more creepy dudes

 **best disney princess:** sasha please

 **best disney princess:** ill visit you after work

 **best disney princess:** or persuade someone else to

 **best disney princess:** just stay home ok

 **miss marple:** I stg you're overreacting

 **miss marple:** but fine

* * *

 **Captain:** Tim, I need your help with preparing a party for Sasha. Or I will help you, if you already started. Martin will likely also want to help.

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** hes the one in charge actually

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** did you not notice the amount of balloon packs on his desk

 **Captain:** All right.

* * *

 **Captain:** I've been told you're in charge of organizing a birthday party for Sasha.

 **Captain:** What can I help with?

 **MartinK:** not much actually

 **MartinK:** Sasha's planning on bringing the cake because she has no idea. she put in extra thought to make sure it's something Elias doesn't like

 **MartinK:** Tim's getting more snacks, like candy and stuff

 **MartinK:** I got the balloons

 **MartinK:** I guess you can help putting everything into place on day X???

 **Captain:** I can do that.

 **Captain:** Do you need my help with blowing up the balloons?

 **MartinK:** that depends on whether you're going to wear a binder

 **MartinK:** actually scratch that you're the tallest person on our team so you're in charge of putting them up where they belong

 **Captain:** Are there going to be party hats?

 **MartinK:** ...ask Tim about Sasha's thoughts on these

 **MartinK:** and on party horns

 **Captain:** I was joking.

 **MartinK:** only if Sasha doesn't like them

* * *

On her first day back, Sasha is greeted with the sound of three party horns and a cheer of "Happy birthday!" immediately afterwards from Tim, who is wearing two party hats like cat ears. Martin isn't taking the "hat" part as seriously as Jon, either, instead opting to use one as a unicorn horn. Strings with balloons connect every high point that could be found to at least one another high point. Three desks, brought in from somewhere else, are organized in the middle, with candy and chocolate and just about anything filling almost all the space - save for a spot on one of the corners, just big enough for Sasha to put the cake she's carefully carrying on. As soon as she does, Tim tosses her the pack of party hats with no warning at all; she catches it and puts on all four that remain.

"You are ridiculous", she says with a smile in her voice. "I swear, I expected you to do _something_ , since there was no way you wouldn't, but the amount of balloons is excessive. And the hats and horns? Did Jon have to veto confetti?"

"I didn't", he answers. "It was all Martin."

"Not really me either, I just pointed out it would be hard to clean."

Tim grimaces. "Not my brightest moment."

"I'd say otherwise, this time you didn't make the dumb decision", Sasha quips back with a huge grin.

And just for this day, their one worry is their stomachs hurting from laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can pry tall Jon from my cold dead hands. he's a stick. I know everyone and their mom thinks he's short and Martin is tall but that's just untrue.  
> also, Sasha's birthday party is based on the two times when because of circumstances my birthday was celebrated in a group of four people (including me) who were Working On A Project With A Deadline TM. it was great. I loved it. yes it was small and we Got To Work after an hour or two but it was nice and had ppl I love so


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: mentions of sexism and transphobia

**Captain:** Hello again. How are you?

 **no fear:** I'm doing alright, why

 **Captain:** No reason, except that I wanted to check in.

 **Captain:** And to pass on a hi for The Admiral.

 **no fear:** the hi is passed on, he meowed back and put a paw on my screen, so he's probably saying hi right back

 **no fear:** how did the social outing with your coworkers go

 **Captain:** Pretty good, all things considered.

 **Captain:** Side note, Sasha is terrifying when angered and quick to get angered by seeing someone be an arsehole.

 **no fear:** explain

 **Captain:** Another side note, Tim apparently knows me well enough to know exactly what's going on when I'm typing for a long time.

 **Captain:** There's not really much to explain.

 **no fear:** who hurt you

 **Captain:** No one, I was just an observer.

 **no fear:** you don't omit everything when you are "just an observer"

[Captain is typing...]

 **Captain:** Fine. You're right, but I don't want to talk about it.

 **no fear:** if you're sure you are okay, then fine

 **no fear:** do you have a side note about Martin

 **Captain:** I have several.

 **Captain:** Side note one, he is pretty good at singing.

 **Captain:** Maybe it was the alcohol, but I teared up at his rendition of Defying Gravity.

 **no fear:** you would tear up just at about any rendition of Defying Gravity

 **Captain:** That was one time and there were the following key factors:

 **Captain:** One, I was the Glinda, so it was more directed at me.

 **Captain:** Two, you were singing, and you were good at it.

 **no fear:** wasn't that around the time you were developing a crush on me

 **Captain:** That wasn't a key factor.

 **no fear:** whatever you say

 **no fear:** were you Glinda again

 **Captain:** Obviously.

 **Captain:** Tim tried to argue about that one with me initially, but in the end he got Fiyero.

 **Captain:** They're not a full match, as Tim is a lot smarter, but he can compensate by making himself seem dumb. It's hard to take a man who makes half a dozen puns in span of four sentences seriously if you don't know better.

 **no fear:** and Sasha?

 **Captain:** Dr. Dillamond.

 **no fear:** makes sense from what you told me

 **Captain:** Honestly, I still don't know why she wasn't the one promoted.

 **no fear:** sexism

 **Captain:** That makes sense on the surface perception, yes, but my documents have the F gender marker, and we're both nonbinary, and she had a top surgery.

 **Captain:** If that's true, it should've been Tim, or Martin if our boss knows Tim is trans too, which he probably does because Tim is pretty open about it.

 **Captain:** Plus my predecessor was a woman.

 **Captain:** Unless our boss is somehow sexist but not transphobic?

 **no fear:** I met people like that so not impossible

 **no fear:** but pretty unlikely

 **Captain:** Maybe I should just ask him.

 **no fear:** you think he'd tell you

 **Captain:** He might.

* * *

**#spooky-investigation**

**First Mate:** Should I?

[Image attached: a screenshot of the conversation with Georgie beginning with "Honestly, I still don't know why she wasn't the one promoted"]

 **best disney princess:** yes

 **miss marple:** no

 **best disney princess:** why not

 **miss marple:** none of us will like the answer, and that's if he's not immune

 **best disney princess:** why wpuld he be innune

 **miss marple:** because he's the boss so chances are he's some sort of supernatural too

 **miss marple** **:** also if that's the case I do want the answer but not like he will give one

 **Elphie:** if you want to ask, you need backup

 **Elphie:** you're not going to face the main suspect alone

 **Elphie:** especially considering that the questions might've been the motive

 **miss marple:** I doubt that one

 **miss marple:** not sure why

 **miss marple:** but I find it likely that she knew something she wasn't supposed to know

 **First Mate:** That makes sense. From what little I've heard, she sounds quite sharp.

 **First Mate:** I know it might get me killed as well, but I can't help but wonder what it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could stop making Wicked references. for fuck's sake Jean they're British, I tell myself. and yet it keeps coming up.  
> plot progression who?


	11. Chapter 11

[CLICK]

[RUSTLING OF PAPER]

MARTIN

Statement of... Lydia? God, why'd she have to use this colour?

[DOOR OPENS. FOOTSTEPS; THE FOLLOWING DISCUSSION SOUNDS DISTANT]

I can't read this one! The statement giver used the worst pen possible!

SASHA

 _(confused)_ What do you mean? It's... your regular blue pen?

MARTIN

 _(more confused)_ Blue? It's- It's bright gree-

...

Huh. That's new.

I still can't record the statement. The _colour_ is giving me a headache.

SASHA

...Did you always see tapes in colour?

MARTIN

Wish I remembered. Maybe? Maybe not? Looking back, maybe not, but...

SASHA

Mind if Jon asks? Maybe that will help.

MARTIN

I mean, sure.

SASHA

 _(loudly)_ Jon! We need your help!

ARCHIVIST

What is it?

SASHA

Martin doesn't remember the true answer to a question, but he might have known it at some point. Could you ask him?

ARCHIVIST

You think I can boost his memory?

MARTIN

I hope so!

ARCHIVIST

 _(sighs)_ All right, what is it?

MARTIN

For how long I've been seeing colour on tapes.

ARCHIVIST

How long have you been seeing colour on tapes?

[STATIC PICKS UP]

MARTIN

As far as I can tell, for as long as I've been working here.

That... was my guess.

SASHA

Awh.

You left the tape recorder running.

MARTIN

Oh yeah, I...

How did you know?

SASHA

...I guessed, since you came to me with the ink problems, and...

No. I didn't guess. I knew that.

[TENSE PAUSE]

ARCHIVIST

I'll, I'll go turn it off.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING, THEN]

[CLICK]

* * *

**#spooky-investigation**

**miss marple:** martin sees colours on written statements, jon can't boost someone's memory but can make them tell what they think might be true, and I knew martin left a tape recorder running without him telling me that

 **miss marple:** tim? anything spooky happen to you?

 **best disney princess:** what the fuck

 **best disney princess:** also yes

 **miss marple:** wait what I was joking

 **best disney princess:** ik. wish that were me

 **miss marple:** you are ok with telling us right

 **best disney princess:** yeah duh why

 **miss marple:** jon ask him over text

 **First Mate:** Is this the day of testing my limits?

 **miss marple:** don't tell me you're not curious

 **First Mate:** I'd still like to have some agency in the experiments.

 **miss marple:** ...sorry. I assumed you'd want to know, too

 **First Mate:** I am.

 **First Mate:** Tim?

 **best disney princess:** im here

 **best disney princess:** ask away boss

 **First Mate:** What happened today?

 **best disney princess:** try again

[First Mate is typing...]

 **First Mate:** Statement of Timothy Stoker, regarding a conversation he overheard. Statement begins. What happened?

 **best disney princess:** whoa my phone just glitched hardcore

 **best disney princess:** but nope not working

 **Elphie:** probably for the same reasons these statements don't record digitally

 **First Mate:** Makes sense.

 **miss marple:** now that it's settled I'd like to know what happened

 **best disney princess:** do i have to give a full statement or are you ok with a tldr

 **First Mate:** The short version is enough.

 **best disney princess:** i overheard a conversation in ukrainian and understood it all

 **best disney princess:** never learned that language

 **miss marple:** ...anyone willing to bet me that it's a brown thing

 **Elphie:** oh no way

 **First Mate:** I'm also fairly certain that Martin's synesthesia has changed to seeing genuine supernatural statements since he joined the Institute.

 **miss marple:** more like the archives

 **miss marple:** I'm willing to bet it's just the four of us, and elias because there's no way he's not in the deep of it

 **best disney princess:** what if we ask around the institute proper

 **First Mate:** It would be more efficient to ask Elias.

 **First Mate:** If he answers, that is.

 **miss marple:** we have so many questions for him we might as well go and ask

 **Elphie:** because it's a very good idea to walk up to him and go "hi, did you kill Gertrude, why did you promote Jon and not Sasha, and is the whole Institute somehow affected by the brown or just the Archives?"

 **Elphie:** do you want to know badly enough to risk it?

 **best disney princess:** i mean

 **miss marple:** kinda

 **First Mate:** Maybe.

 **Elphie:** okay. let's do this


	12. Chapter 12

[CLICK]

ELIAS

Now that that's in place. What do you want?

MARTIN

Answers.

ARCHIVIST

What do you know about the Brown?

[STATIC RISES]

ELIAS

Sorry, the what?

SASHA

Something connected to information. And to the Magnus Institute.

ELIAS

 _(with surprise)_ Ah.

ARCHIVIST

What do you know about it?

[STATIC RISES]

ELIAS

I know more than you do. It's called the Eye, or the Ceaseless Watcher. You don't need to know more about it, yet.

TIM

 _(annoyed)_ So you're immune to Jon's questions, then.

ELIAS

Ah, is he growing into understanding his role as the Archivist, then? Faster than I expected, I'll admit.

[TENSE PAUSE]

SASHA

What about us?

ELIAS

 _(almost hiding confusion)_ What about you?

TIM

 _(with venom)_ О, ничего особенного. Разве что я никогда не учил русский язык.

ELIAS

...Que tal Espanhol?

TIM

Não, isso é Português.

[ELIAS CHUCKLES]

ELIAS

And I presume "us" means the rest of you also got some gifts from the Brown, as you called it?

MARTIN

Don't know if I'd call it a gift. Makes statements about the Eyestrain Green very hard to read.

ELIAS

How many colours have you found?

MARTIN

Fourteen.

ELIAS

Hm.

Well, I don't believe I've seen them referred to by colour before. What is the Eyestrain Green responsible for?

MARTIN

Fractals-

ARCHIVIST

-are part of it. We haven't found much more yet.

ELIAS

That one's the Spiral.

Sasha? What is your gift?

SASHA

Give me a reason to say it instead of demonstrating.

ELIAS

On me? Well, one reason is that I'm more powerful than you, and it's likely to backfire. The other reason is that I know now that you used it as a threat, so there's no real point to either.

Is that all?

TIM

 _(bitter)_ I guess there's no point-

SASHA

 _(overlapping, agitated)_ No, I still want to hear what he has to say, even without the truth guarantee.

Why Jon? Everyone in this room knows I was a better fit, and I'm pretty sure that involves you as well.

ELIAS

You've seen the mess that the previous Archivist left behind. I simply couldn't allow another like her to make it worse.

MARTIN

What the hell does that mean?

ELIAS

Nothing that matters anymore. Jon is the Archivist now, and will stay the Archivist.

ARCHIVIST

I...

ELIAS

I believe you've asked all your questions?

[CLICK]

* * *

**#spooky-investigation**

**First Mate:** I appear to be unable to give up my position, as well.

 **miss marple:** it's not like

 **miss marple:** wait

 **miss marple:** you mean you tried???

 **First Mate:** I did, yes. Right after he said that I "will stay the Archivist".

 **First Mate:** I have a feeling that he knows I tried.

 **best disney princess:** i think we can presume he kknos pretty much anythinf

 **miss marple:** ugh that's likely

 **miss marple:** wonder if there's some way to prevent him from finding out things we know

 **Elphie:** oh I sure _hope_ there is

 **Elphie:** he doesn't care about anything but his own goals and I don't trust his goals to be any good

 **best disney princess:** i have a hunch for how to find out

 **best disney princess:** boss permsiion to group research

 **best disney princess:** me + martin searching for a place where double boss cant see us

 **First Mate:** Granted.

 **miss marple:** I'll do some research about elias

 **First Mate:** Then I'll look some more into Hertrude Robinson.

 **miss marple:** christ that's right we still have that

 **Elphie:** good luck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tim says "oh, nothing in particular, just that I never learned Russian". Elias's response is "what about Spanish?". Tim goes "that's Portuguese." Russian provided by me, Portuguese provided by a friend; however, I don't know if I explained my idea to them correctly, so it might be off


	13. Chapter 13

[CLICK]

[MUFFLED SOUNDS OF BUSY LONDON. THE CONVERSATION IS ALSO MUFFLED]

MARTIN

Okay, so, what's your plan?

TIM

You ever notice how in the Institute, especially in the Archives, there's this feeling of being watched? It's less than that at my place, so I figure that we can find somewhere where the feeling fades entirely and that would be a safe place where we _aren't_ watched.

MARTIN

_(half laughing)_ Well, it's definitealy not _here_! Like, I'm pretty sure that this goth over there is _literally_ watching us!

TIM

Goth? I'd say they look more punk?

MARTIN

I mean, isn't punk less about the look and more about-

GOTH/PUNK

About being fed up with capitalism?

TIM

_(overlapping)_ Aah!

MARTIN

_(overlapping)_ Jesus!

GOTH/PUNK

_(amused)_ Probably not.

Look, there's something, _cursed_ , inside your backpack. Right on top of the central compartment, but I can't _see_ what it is.

TIM

Cursed _how_?

GOTH/PUNK

Uh, I don't know if it helps, but cerulean blue?

[FRANTIC UNZIPPING SOUND AS LONDON SOUNDS AND CONVERSATION BECOME CLEAR]

MARTIN

_(confused)_ A... tape recorder?

GOTH/PUNK

...Do you happen to know about the Magnus Institute?

TIM

That's a lot of questions without explanations.

GOTH/PUNK

Can you turn off the recorder?

[CLICK]

[CLICK]

GOTH/PUNK

Figured as such.

I used to work with Gertrude Robinson, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, and that taught me some things.

[LONG PAUSE]

MARTIN

Makes sense. You said cerulean, do you mean like manipulation and spiders?

GOTH/PUNK

Yes?

MARTIN

And, uuuh, eystrain green is fractals and impossible hallways and Michael?

GOTH/PUNK

Are you just going to recite Smirke's fourteen to me?

MARTIN

Uh, I mean- they're that colour, right?

TIM

_(overlapping)_ Wait, Smirke?

GOTH/PUNK

Oh dear.

[CLICK]

* * *

**#spooky-investigation**

**Elphie:** so, these different colours are some degree of objective, because me and another spooky synesthete see them the same

**Elphie:** you should've seen Tim's face when they said cerulean was also manipulation

**miss marple:** another spooky synesthete?

**Elphie:** yeah they helped us quite a bit

**Elphie:** apparently tunnels under the Institute are brown-proof

**Elphie:** also did any of you put a tape recorder on top of my backpack

**First Mate:** Wasn't me.

**miss marple:** me neither

**Elphie:** guess they were right about that one, too

**Elphie:** one other thing they said was that Elias was the most likely to have killed Gertrude, and that the promotion changed him almost overnight

**First Mate:** Did you ever get their name? Because they seem a valuable source of information.

**Elphie:** damn it I didn't

**Elphie:** I can tell you what they looked like?

**Elphie:** goth and/or punk, long leather coat, they/them pronoun pin, hair dyed black

**Elphie:** wait

**Elphie:** I wish I connected the dots sooner so I could ask them, but it might be Gerard Keay? or, well, the same person as the one we know as Gerard Keay

**best disney princess:** checks out

**First Mate:** Didn't they die from a brain tumor?

**best disney princess:** if they did it didnt stop them from telling martin there's "something cursed" in his backpack and that the way it;'s cursed is "cerulean blue"

**best disney princess:** anyway

**best disney princess:** what did you two find

**First Mate:** Gertrude's flat.

**miss marple:** elias was a pothead

**best disney princess:**

**Elphie:** what

**First Mate:** Are you serious?

**miss marple:** I wish I wasn't

**best disney princess:** wait I thought you were joking

**miss marple:** I'll elaborate later, now there's someone walking towards the archives

**miss marple:** wants to talk to "the new Archivist"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they/them Gerry is a new headcanon to me, and I noticed Several fuck ups in the initial draft, so please tell me if there's more because I don't check my writing Super Duper Thoroughly  
> also after ep181 it's unlikely that tape recorders are Eye but it's not an important plot point and I might change it when we learn what it's actually tied to (upd: edited, yeehaw for Web tapes <3)


	14. Chapter 14

[CLICK]

GERRY

...I suppose you can't help but record, can you?

How did she die?

ARCHIVIST

My predecessor?

She was shot. Three times. Probably right there. Blood was found at her desk, but not her body, until several months later.

GERRY

Hm. Wonder if she didn't want to make the choice or if she couldn't.

ARCHIVIST

What do you mean?

[STATIC PICKS UP]

GERRY

 _(chuckles)_ Sorry, I'm not here to give a statement. I could, but I'm not a fan of the side effects.

ARCHIVIST

 _(quietly)_ So the dreams _aren't_ just dreams, then.

GERRY

 _(amused)_ What, did you think you dreaming of statements every time you go to sleep was normal? Exactly how much _do_ you know?

ARCHIVIST

...Not much. Elias has a thing for keeping me in the dark. We've discovered fourteen colours, and have some knowledge on what they're about, but...

Surely you've noticed the string boards.

GERRY

Hm.

 _(warily)_ I can give a statement, but someone else has to take it. Would just talk into the recorder, but I don't like them, and you might have questions.

ARCHIVIST

I'm afraid none of my assistants are entirely normal.

GERRY

But none of them are the Archivist, are they?

ARCHIVIST

What do-

...

This question is confusing, please, explain what you mean.

GERRY

 _(amused)_ It wouldn't work on me anyway, but thank you.

The Archivist is a title, tied to the Brown. As far as I know, it's an exclusive one - two can't exist at the same time. But I might be wrong.

ARCHIVIST

...All right. Sasha was Gertrude's successor pick, so she might be a bad choice. The other two should be back soon. Martin is a synesthete, so maybe him?

GERRY

We aren't meant for live statements. If he's far enough in his... transformation, my voice might prove overwhelming. I don't think any of the details are impossible to grasp if you don't see the colours.

ARCHIVIST

Right. Tim... seems to have some trauma, related to the Magenta. I recall him connecting it to the Circus and to someone geting killed and replaced. Uh, to the anglerfish?

GERRY

Do you mean the one that wears someone's skin, pretending to be them?

ARCHIVIST

That's the one.

GERRY

I can work with that. Ask him in and go outside. I can be verbose on my own.

ARCHIVIST

I will, as soon as they get back.

[CLICK]

* * *

**#spooky-investigation**

**First Mate:** Gerry, as they asked to be called, wants to give a statement.

 **First Mate:** The problem is, they'd rather not give it to _me_ , seeing as I'm "the Archivist".

 **First Mate:** According to them, it's a title.

[miss marple changed First Mate's nickname to Archivist]

[miss marple changed Elphie's nickname to spooky synesthete #1]

[miss marple changed best disney princess's nickname to polyglot]

 **miss marple:** do any of you have a name for whatever the fuck my thing is

[polyglot changed their nickname to spoolyglot]

 **spoolyglot:** youre a reverse telepath harry

 **miss marple:** good enough

[miss marple changed their nickname to reverse telepath]

 **Archivist:** Anyway.

 **Archivist:** The two of us came to the conclusion that Tim would be the best available person to take the statement.

 **Archivist:** So, if you'd hurry back to do so, that would be nice.

 **Archivist:** In the meantime.

 **Archivist:** Sasha, would you like to help me break into Gertrude's flat?


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAG111 been quoted a lot here! almost all of the "White, or the End" paragraph is just direct quote after direct quote strung together. pretty much nothing new in it except for equating the colours to the fears (which isn't that new either, but might help). same with all from "Most of these colours have rituals" to "Well, think of it that way" (including that one)  
> cw: discussions of Elias's Inflicting Trauma fuckery, including a fairly detailed example; Michael's backstory is mentioned

[CLICK]

TIM

 _(imitating the Archivist)_ Statement of Gerry Keay, regarding the colours. Recorded direct from subject, 13th October 2016.

GERRY

 _(impatiently)_ I'm guessing you don't know almost anything yet?

TIM

Not much. We know there are colours, and that the ways they differ and the ways they're similar make sense.

GERRY

All right. Here's the most important thing: they are our fears. Most things humanity fears are roughly put into fourteen categories. Fourteen colours.

And of course, there's far more than fourteen colours total. Especially considering how the colours I see when it comes to the fears tend to be fairly specific and less so colour categories. If you did imagine them like colours outside of them actually being coloured, you could talk about little differences: "oh, that’s indigo, that’s more lilac", but they’d both be purple. And there are technically infinite colours, but you'd group them together into a few big ones. A lot of it’s kind of arbitrary. I mean, why are navy blue and sky blue both called blue, when pink’s an entirely different colour from red?

...This analogy was more helpful before I started to see the fears in colour.

TIM

I think I get it.

GERRY

Let's hope your local synesthete does.

Magenta is the unknown. The uncanny. That kind of creeping sense that something’s not right. That guy you saw that might be following you, might mean you harm. Smirke called it the Stranger, and that's the name most will know it by.

TIM

The Circus is part of it.

GERRY

Another Circus, yes.

TIM

What about Brown? Or, the Eye?

GERRY

Fear of being watched, being followed, having your deepest secrets exposed. Needing to know, even if your discoveries might destroy you. The feeling that something, somewhere, is letting you suffer, just so it can watch.

TIM

What does Sasha's thing have to do with it? She looked into someone's eyes and made them feel how much she hated them.

GERRY

Forced knowledge. Was Wright's modus operandi when he was Head of the Institute, and is Bouchard's modus operandi now. Didn't know you could do that with emotions, though. Bouchard just tends to find your trauma and twist the knife. Gertrude says Wright did that, too.

TIM

What do you mean?

GERRY

Suppose your parents are both dead, and you actually witnessed your mum kill herself in order to bind herself to some sort of a ghost book, and she wanted you to help her, and even before that she was a terrible mother. Not a lot of ways to go further down from here, right?

TIM

 _(tentatively)_ Doesn't sound like it.

GERRY

 _(mixture of harsh and bitter)_ Then you manage to anger Bouchard, and he makes you know that actually she killed your dad years ago and bound him to that same book, but before binding herself she handed the page over to her friend, who is now your caretaker, not wanting to be in the same book as him. And that said caretaker destroyed the page, and it was a mercy, because being part of the book hurt.

[PAUSE FOR PROCESSING THE INFORMATION]

TIM

 _(slowly)_ All right. I got it.

GERRY

 _(almost cutting in)_ Any other ones you are specifically curious about or should I just list them all?

TIM

There's also Eyestrain Yellow. The Spiral, and specifically Michael.

GERRY

Michael is The Distortion. It wasn't always Michael. Gertrude sacrificed one of her assistants to The Distortion to stop Eyestrain Yellow from ending the world as we know it.

TIM

_What?!_

GERRY

...We'll get to that.

The Spiral is the fear of madness. That worry that your world isn’t right, that your mind is lying to you.

TIM

Sounds about right.

That's three. What are the others?

GERRY

White, or the End, is the fear of death - simple, but always there. Light Grey is the Lonely. The feeling that you’re just… alone. Maybe there’s no one else there at all, maybe you just can’t connect. Dark Grey, the Buried, is claustrophobia. Small spaces, crushing, you can’t breathe. You’re at the centre of everything, and it all pushes down on you. On the other side there's Deep Purple, or the Vast. Vertigo, agoraphobia, the dread of deep water, of our own insignificance before the universe. If Dark Grey is being trapped without enough space, then Deep Purple is like losing yourself in too much of it. Then there's Black, or the Dark. That’s an old one, and one of the deepest. It's pretty self-explanatory - fear of darkness. Of what might be in it. Fiery Red is the Desolation. The burning. The Lightless Flame. Fear of pain, fear of loss, fear of unthinking or cruel destruction. Steel, or the Slaughter, is similar. But it’s just pure violence, not targeted or premeditated, just… unpredictable violence. And you don’t know when, or if it’s even coming. Sometimes it’s aggressive, like a frenzied killer, but sometimes it’s calm, like an army firing shells into a village. Fresh Blood is the Hunt, the animalistic and instinctual fear of being hunted or chased, of becoming prey. Meanwhile, Old Blood is the Flesh. The fear of being eaten, of one's body getting twisted up. These two are mostly animalistic, but sometimes they can reach out to people, and it gets a little weird. Then there's Sickening Green, or the Corruption. It's a nasty one, that one. Just… disgust. Rot, decay, infection. That feeling of your skin crawling or itching, being touched by something that might burrow inside you. Swarming and hollowing you out. Leaving you full of holes. Not spiders, though. They belong to Cerulean, the Web. Spiders and control. Your will not being your own. Being manipulated or puppeted. The worry you’re caught in a trap you can’t see.

TIM

 _(groaning)_ I will _not_ get over the fact that you name these colours _all the same_. Seriously, _fresh blood_ versus _fiery red_ and _old blood_ versus just brown. Or better yet, _steel_. While there's also light grey and dark grey. And _sickening green_.

GERRY

My best guess is that that's what they want to be called.

TIM

 _(groaning harder)_ Does that mean that the one about spiders and mind control _wants_ to be cerulean?

[GERRY LAUGHS]

GERRY

The Web might've changed for that, or he might've known, or the Web might've pulled some strings. It's never a coincidence with it.

[SOUND OF A HEAD BEING DROPPED ON A TABLE]

[LONG PAUSE]

TIM

All right. What is it about ending the world as we know it?

GERRY

Most of these colours have rituals. Takes centuries to build up to a level of power where they can try it, and if they fail, it’s back to square one. They… kind of "shift" the world, just enough for the Power to come through. Merge with reality. Some say, or well, they guess, that it could bring other entities through with them. I mean, I doubt Dark Grey would be bringing through Deep Purple, but you know.

TIM

How exactly does that work?

GERRY

Okay, well… You know how I was just talking about Fresh and Old Blood?

TIM

Yeah?

GERRY

Well, think of it this way: right now all the entities have to act like a hunter, they pick off the weak ones around the edges, the ones that wander too close, and the rest of the time they have to just graze on whatever fear we all passively give away. And if one of these rituals succeeds, the world becomes a factory farm.

TIM

...Fuck.

GERRY

 _(chuckling)_ You're not wrong.

Do you know if Gertrude managed to stop the Unknowing or if it just hasn't happened yet?

TIM

What is the Unknowing?

GERRY

You don't, then. Magenta's ritual.

Gertrude was dedicated to stopping the rituals at any cost. That was the last one she was working on, when we got separated.

TIM

 _(tentatively)_ Does that have anything to do with how you supposedly died from a brain tumor?

GERRY

Yes, and I don't want to elaborate.

TIM

Fair enough.

GERRY

If you're going to do the same thing she did, I'm going to help.

TIM

How can we contact you, then?

[BRIEF STATIC]

GERRY

Give me a second. You can turn off the recorder.

TIM

O...kay?

[CLICK]

* * *

**451f:** that's how.

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** ...im not gonna ask

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> caught at least one "mom" here, so that's fun. US sure has a way to insert itself into everyone's lives  
> tune in next whenever for Jon and Sasha's promised break in! or for whatever Martin's been doing! or for... I don't know, okay? we'll get to it. apparently I'm not abandoning this fic, like I feared I would after two chapters, so there's going to be _something_ there


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey ny'all! I'm going to start my new job tomorrow, so I'm likely to slow down with my writing of both this and "thank god it's just you"

**no fear:** hey, how are you?

 **Captain:** Uhhh.

 **Captain:** Long story.

 **Captain:** But a large part of it is my job being...

 **Captain:** How do I put it.

 **no fear:** the worst?

 **Captain:** ...kind of?

 **Captain:** Long story short, I'm trying to investigate the murder of my predecessor, because the police won't.

 **no fear:** uh

 **no fear:** are you okay???

 **Captain:** As much as I can be.

 **no fear:** that's good to hear

 **no fear:** which kind of bullshit is turning the police away

[Captain is typing...]

[Captain is typing...]

 **no fear:** you are worrying me

[Captain is typing...]

 **Captain:** Forget it, it sounds crazy when I actually say it.

 **no fear:** oh no way

 **no fear:** you tell me right now what it is

[Captain is typing...]

 **Captain:** Fine.

 **Captain:** How much do you actually believe in the supernatural?

* * *

**#spooky-investigation**

**spoolyglot:** so uh gerry found me on discord

 **spoolyglot:** should i add him here or

 **reverse telepath:** sure lmao

* * *

**#bonding-plans**

**451f** just showed up!

 **Archivist:** I hope this username refers specifically to Leitners.

 **451f:** only to those that actually burn. not all do.

 **spooky synesthete #1:** that's cryptic

 **reverse telepath:** hi gerry, I'm sasha, spoolyglot is tim and spooky synesthete #1 is martin

 **451f:** i am very grateful i don't have person-colour associations.

 **spooky synesthete #1:** yeah that's probably a good thing

* * *

**#actually-investigation**

**reverse telepath:** I'm glad the bonding is on fire but!

 **reverse telepath:** we have some news

 **reverse telepath:** we found gertrude's laptop charger

 **reverse telepath:** not the laptop though

 **reverse telepath:** also all the eye imagery on book covers & stuff in her flat is destroyed

 **451f:** that's protection from institute head spying.

 **451f:** i don't know about bouchard but, according to gertrude, wright could look at you from any eye.

 **451f:** she hid the laptop somewhere in the archives. i don't know where exactly.

 **spooky synesthete #1:** I uh

 **spooky synesthete #1:** think I do actually?

 **Archivist:** How?

 **spooky synesthete #1:** I found it

 **spooky synesthete #1:** Jon, you know how your office has the worst squeaky floorboard?

 **spooky synesthete #1:** and with Tim taking up the break room with Gerry and you and Sasha off to break into Gertrude's flat, I found myself with nothing to do

 **spooky synesthete #1:** well I _could_ sort statements but I prefer to do that in company

 **spooky synesthete #1:** so instead I opted to fix that floorboard

 **reverse telepath:** and instead found the laptop and the key underneath

 **spooky synesthete #1:** ...do you know that I didn't say anything about the key?

 **reverse telepath:** UGH

* * *

 **no fear:** hey

 **no fear:** i know you said you're not angry about it anymore

 **no fear:** but jon asked me to pass on that he actually believed your story, just was too scared to admit it out loud

 **raging princess:** ...what.

 **raging princess:** he better say this to my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the note in the draft about the first conversation in that chapter was "[jon texts georgie here. georgie is a bit exasperated with jon being cagey, and jon asks her how much does she believe in superna- oh god not this word not after this week]"


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huh, I really just didn't update since I started my job. fun))0)  
> this update might be short even by my standards, but I really wanna show that I didn't just give up, I just Have A Job That Takes Hella Time now :(

[CLICK]

ARCHIVIST

 _(weary sigh)_ I believed your story when you told it, but at the moment I was too afraid to admit it.

MELANIE

...

 _(very pointed)_ Thank you.

ARCHIVIST

 _(cautiously, a peace offering)_ Is that, is that all you came here for?

MELANIE

 _(considering)_ Actually, there might be something else?

ARCHIVIST

What is it?

MELANIE

I need access to your library.

ARCHIVIST

Why don't you talk to Diana? _She_ runs the place.

MELANIE

I don't exactly have the academic credentials you guys demand, so I _apparently_ need someone to vouch for me, and you're basically the closest thing I have to a friend here.

ARCHIVIST

We've spoken once, and we ended up screaming at each other.

MELANIE

Yes, and that's more than I have with anyone else here. Also, uh, _Georgie_ actually has some nice things to say about you. _That_ came as a surprise. You didn't even tell me you knew her.

ARCHIVIST

We only really started talking again recently, a while after you gave the statement. That reminds me, actually, do you want to-

MELANIE

No, not really.

ARCHIVIST

What did you... I'd like to know what you thought I was going to ask.

MELANIE

Uh, to make a follow up statement?

ARCHIVIST

 _(quickly)_ No, no, that wasn't it! I was going to ask if you wanted to know what we found!

MELANIE

Wait, really?

ARCHIVIST

I thought you wanted to know what it was.

MELANIE

I did! I do!

ARCHIVIST

First off, the Sarah Baldwin you encountered isn't the original Sarah Baldwin. Or at least, not entirely her. She is now a creation of Magenta, or the Stranger. It's an entity responsible for the fear of the uncanny, the unknown. The masks, not knowing who you're talking to. The Circus. However, what she encountered was part of Steel, or the Slaughter. Fear of unnecessary, random violence and pain. Harm for harm's sake. There are twelve other big fear groups, but that's the ones you've encountered.

[LONG PAUSE]

MELANIE

I see.

Can I take the tape with me?

ARCHIVIST

I mean, that's what you intended to do from the start, didn't you?

MELANIE

Oh, yes, I did.

[CLICK]

* * *

**Captain:** I've listened to the tape earlier today, and...

 **Captain:** How do I put it.

 **Captain:** I want to say that I'm sorry that this happened, and that I'm grateful you've trusted me with it.

 **Captain:** I'd also like to share my own story with you.

 **Captain:** I tried several times to put it down in written words, and then to catch you and tell you in person. But in the end, the only thing that made sense is to record it myself.

 **Captain:** You'll find the tape on your desk tomorrow.

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** three concerning possibilities

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** either you havent left yet, or you took the recrder home, or youre planning to go in 2morrow and record at the crack ars of dsawn

 **kayaker extraordinaire:** which one si it boss man

 **Captain:** I hoped I'd only have to tell that tomorrow, but.

 **Captain:** Neither of these.

 **Captain:** I discovered the recorder at home just as I made the decision to record it.


End file.
